I just read the last few entry things... I'm sound annoyingly emo.

Sorry 'bout that.

Look I used yellow cause that's a birhgt lively color... eh?

Remeber..

mood: Can't decied

things to know: =[

Remeber those friends who said they would always be there.

And those ones who said everything is fine, I'll never go away.

...and then they do.

Take Anthony for example. Where is he now? Gone. One time it felt like he was my only friend left. And months later... where is he? Gone like Megan, and Clarissa, and Danielle, and fuck. I don't know why all this bothers me, but you know.... Friends are just so important. And I value them so much, and they end up dissappering. And I try so hard to be a good friend. But once I do one thing wrong.. They just go.

I'm sick of people deserting me.
I didn't do anything.

And people just leave.

I just wish it didn't hurt.

me...

I'm so sick of everyone taking the easy way out.

fuck you.

<3

mood: Not a nice one
things to know: life is mean.

Someday I'm going away.

.....soon, I'm going away.

But screw everyone else.

I'm going far away from everyone that dosn't give a shit of all the things people try to do for them.

Far away enough, where it would be more of an inconviniance to see me.

And then I will be happy.

I could rely on myself for happiness.

So then I wont put something so, bright in the tainted hands of one who would distroy it.

And when I'm gone, I will learn all the secrets of being beautiful.

I will be one of those ladies you see on the tv.

The kind that could turn heads.

And with a smile could win hearts.

And I wont attract ugly guys anymore.

And my friends. Well, the real ones who care.... I will see them.

But they wont recognize me.

They would see Margarita, you know the one who would show her face at my greatest point of my self esteem.

But now, shes perfected.

Someday, when I go away, I will eventually be back.

And I'll be new. Happy, Beautiful, and have some class that would charm everyone I talk to.

But now. I'm just Gracie.

So far. I haven't gotten too far with her.

Its crazy.

Really. I can't rely on anyone.

Its like walking into a room where you could feel every insecurity in the world.

I know the world dosn't revolve around me...But I would like to just sit and not have to hear about anyone else....I'm sick of being the ear.

I just want a friend.
To be there.

And its like... God. Having this gapping wound. And I'm hemeraging... all over. But the only one who sees it is...Well Steve(its like he could read my mind, really)... and me...

And, really.. I can't bother him anymore. He has enought to worry about. That, and even he dosn't know the whole story....ugh. So... I'm here..

I don't know what to do with myself. I mean... I could feel so great... but.
I dunno.

I have great friends, just I don't like unloading on them. And the ones I could unload... klaejhklaje...whatever.

Screw it. I try...

Really..

I have had enough. Why can't anyone help me out?

God. Everything insist on being complicated.

When really, I don't ask for much.

Thow me a bone.

Help me out.

    CAUSE i'M SO FED UP.

AND BOYS...

 When something finally goes right..

Something else has to come and kick me in the ass...

I'm not ready for this. It has to be done Thursday.

I'm so scared. I don't want to deal with shit anymore.

I'm trying so hard. Why does no one help me?

Why is it when I need someone the most.

Like everything else...

Never comes through.